The Joke's on Dad

I sat with my own dad to narrow down the best of the best of "dad-jokes". These jokes are dad approved. So if you need to expand your repertoire, add these to your collection.

Happy Fathers Day. The job you do is no joke.


1. You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

2.MOM: "How do I look?"

DAD: "With your eyes."

3. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

4 .SERVER: "Sorry about your wait."

DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

5. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

6. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

7. Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

8. Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

9. What did the grape do when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine.

10. What do you call cheese by itself? Provolone.

11. Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was incredible.

12. Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the words.

13. Why couldn't the bicycles stand up by itself? It was two tired.

14. I've just been diagnosed with color blindness. I know, it certainly has come out of the purple.

15. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.


Happy Fathers Day! The job you do is no joke.